5 Tips for COVID19/Quarantine Anxiety To Start Using Now

Jamie Frederick, LCPC

For many families, the COVID19 Pandemic has taken anxiety and stress levels to a new high. In addition, many of our go-to outlets for healthfully managing our stress are no longer available due to shelter-in-place restrictions. Homes have become our places for work, play, and school with little to no time to prepare for these changes. The good news is, there are simple things that both children and adults can do to help navigate these tough times. The five tips below can be implemented immediately and consistently across all members of the family to help offer a sense of calm in the chaos. 

  1. Focus on what you can control. When our minds wander to all the challenges facing us, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, lose hope, and feel helpless. By focusing on what you can control, you regain your power and peace of mind. For example, you can’t control how others choose to respond to the crisis but you can control steps you and your family can take to keep yourselves healthy. 
  2. Begin or continue to practice yoga, meditation, relaxation techniques, and gratitude. These practices are healthy and lower our stress, anxiety, and depression during times of normalcy. During difficult times, these practices become even more essential to our well being. If you don’t know where to start, YouTube has numerous yoga and relaxation videos for all ages and levels. There are many easy to use phone apps, many of which have a free version, available to teach basic meditation and relaxation techniques that all ages can do and benefit from. Finally, while it is appropriate to feel some added stress, anxiety, and fear when facing uncertainty, writing down or verbally expressing what simple things we are grateful for can help balance our emotions and focus our energy on what is important. You don’t have to wait for Thanksgiving to start a new family tradition around gratitude. Start today and see the benefits it can bring!
  3. Take things one day at a time. There is so much uncertainty right now; don’t add fuel to the anxiety fire by worrying about what will change tomorrow or next week. Focus on what you’d like to or need to accomplish today. Do the same for children. Also, remember to give everyone a fresh start each day, including yourself. It’s understandable to have bad days, irritability, and increased arguments with family members during this time. Each new day is an opportunity to make the most of your situation and a chance for both children and adults to find joy, be kind, and make better choices.
  4. Rely on your strengths. Look at what has worked in the past and apply it to this situation. What are ways that you and your family have successfully managed stress or anxiety in the past? Physical activity? Art? Talking with friends or extended family? Seeing a therapist? Implement what you know works. For example, maybe you can’t go to the gym to work out your frustrations and socialize/vent to friends, but you can do physical activity at home and use technology to stay connected. Your child can’t attend an art class, but now is a great time to use up supplies around the house and be creative. If seeing a therapist has been helpful for you or your family in the past to help process and cope with stressful situations, consider therapy again. Many counseling services offer teletherapy for all ages from the comfort and safety of your home, including STEPS for Kids
  5. Plan for structure and allow for flexibility. Most of us do our best when we have some kind of structure to follow, whether that’s our working hours, school hours, exercise time, family time, meal times, cleaning schedule, etc. it gives us a sense of consistency and a framework from which to build the rest of our day on. It can be helpful for all family members to have a general schedule and a daily to-do list. This provides a sense of normalcy and consistency, as well as a sense of accomplishment and control, in a chaotic time. However, keep in mind, these are unprecedented times we are living in. If your child was to complete school work in the morning and clean his room in the afternoon but wakes up eager to tackle his room. it may be wise to let him feel a bit more in control and enjoy a sense of empowerment by changing today’s schedule. If a child is having a hard day emotionally (or, if you are!), maybe a quiet day of snuggles, art, movies, and lots of reassurance is a healthier use of time.  

Whatever you do to relieve stress and anxiety, remember that you are not alone. Even though we are facing challenging times that keep us physically apart, we can be there for each other by using technology to connect and engage with others. If you are in crisis, help is available.  If you would like to know more about mental health services provided through STEPS for Kids, please contact us today.

This information provided by STEPS for Kids counselor, Jamie Frederick, LCPC. Jamie has over 9 years of experience as a counselor working with children from pre-school through high-school ages. She is passionate about supporting all children through a family-centered approach that focuses on the strengths of both the child and family while working on skill development vital for the child’s success. Jamie can help with adjustment issues, behavioral concerns, anxiety, emotional-regulation difficulty, social skills, and more. She is certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and trained in play based therapy. She is available to support children, teens and adults with a variety of conditions and concerns through individual, group, and family based treatment approaches. Her services are available via teletherapy remote treatment sessions during the COVID19 Shelter-In-Place order.

4 Tips to Turn Toddler “Jargon” Into Conversations

Is your toddler starting to talk but speaking a “different language”? No worries! It’s a common phenomena of language development called “jargon.” Lots of young children engage in this kind of “babble-speak” as they learn how to use language effectively. Recent research has highlighted the importance of not just talking to your child but talking with them, with evidence of structural brain changes that contribute to developing skills for language and literacy. The most important thing is to engage your child in conversation – whether you understand what they are saying or not! Here are 4 ways to engage your child in that ever important skill of conversation:

  1. Respond to your child’s communication attempts even if you don’t get a single word that is being said.  Your child is trying to tell you something and if the communication attempt is acknowledged by you, they will surely attempt more communication with you in the future.  Your response could be a simple head nod, or a comment such as “you’re right”, “I see”, “really?”. Make sure you make eye contact and interact as though your child is saying something very interesting. 
  2. Be a detective and try to figure out what they might be talking about and reply back with   Doing a little detective work enhances the back and forth exchanges and helps you better understand your child. Being a detective, you can: follow your child’s eye gaze while they are speaking or read the gestures that go along with the “talking” to see if you can figure out the subject of the conversation.  You can also look around to find a possible source of the topic of conversation (ie., maybe a school bus just drove by or a favorite character is on tv). If you can’t figure it out, make something up that might be relevant to the current situation, say what you think they would be saying to you and see what kind of response you get. Need an example of how to chat it up with a child you don’t understand? Check out this adorable video of a dad and his baby enjoying television together! Great detective work and conversation going on there!
  3. Know the topic but the sentence doesn’t make sense? Model the sentence back to the child so they can hear how it is supposed to sound.  To do this, you just slowly repeat the sentence or phrase you think they said using 2-3 words while making eye contact. Then ask your child to say it again with you to help improve their accuracy. Be affirming and encouraging as you provide the model. For example, “Oh, yes! you are right! The bus is big!” Follow it up with a question or another comment on the same topic to keep the conversation going. 
  4. Ask follow up questions or add your own comments.  If you know the subject of the conversation you are having, ask your child follow-up questions about the topic and model answers or give choices for answers to the questions. For example., “I see the car.  What color is the car? Is it blue or green?”, “You see the puppy? He’s a big puppy! What does the puppy say?”  Show interest and enthusiasm in what your child wants to tell you. This helps the child feel connected and keeps them engaged in the conversation. Giving a response will build a desire in your child to respond back to you and conversations will flow! 

As you can see, you don’t need to be speaking the same “language” to have a fun, interactive conversation with your child and it can be encouraging for your child to have these discussions with you.  This is how your child learns more than just how to say words but also social skills such as taking turns in conversation, making eye contact, using gestures and changing the inflection of his/her voice.  Having conversations builds relationships, connects us all socially, and supports future literacy skills. Enjoy these little talks with your child and have fun!

Wonder if your child would benefit from speech therapy? Contact us today to discuss your concerns and learn more about our services.  630-552-9890 

5 Tips to Improve Communication with Your Child’s Teacher

It’s that time of year when parents are wondering how their child is doing at school and teachers are working hard getting to know the children in their class.

Getting communication between home and school off to a good start is an important step to ensure that parents and teachers are working together on behalf of the child. Here are some tips for parents on how you can support positive communication with your child’s teacher.

  1. Ask the teacher what method of communication is preferred and then use it. Some teachers prefer emails while others are using texting apps or web-based programs that organize classroom information and messages. Be sure to clarify what method your child’s teacher prefers and then learn how to use that method effectively. Ask for instructions from the teacher or school office if necessary. If your child has potential emergency situations (for example, allergic reactions) make sure that school staff, you, and other involved adults are clear on what method will be used in case of such an emergency. Setting systems up from the beginning reduces stress later.
  2. Frame communication in a positive manner. Use positive language that focuses on the child’s needs instead of language that demands responses from the teacher. No one appreciates being scolded or told how to perform their job. Making requests for accommodations, follow through, or problem solving can be first presented by stating what you notice your child is struggling with and offering ideas of how this has been addressed successfully in the past. Remember that parents and teachers are part of the same team for the child. The goal is to have a cooperative relationship, not an adversarial one.
  3. Teachers don’t know how involved you want to be unless you tell them. If you want the teacher to initiate communication about specific aspects of your child’s behavior, be sure to provide that information specifically. For example, if you are working on organizational skills at home and want to know each time your child fails to turn in an assignment, clearly (and politely!) make that request of the teacher. In some instances, a teacher doesn’t communicate an issue with parents because they simply aren’t aware that the parent wants to know. Some parents are more involved than others.
  4. Triage your communication. Every piece of information is not as critical as the next. Take some time to think about how critical your communication is before you hit “send” on the next email or text. Re-read your message and be sure that you have communicated in an objective and positive manner, not reacting emotionally or hastily in the heat of a moment. Be respectful of the teacher’s time and be professional in your communication – modeling what you would like to receive from the teacher.
  5. Let the teacher know YOU are an active team member for your child’s success. Finish conversations with the teacher by asking “What can I do as the parent in this situation?” or “Is there anything I can do at home to help this situation?”

Communication around a child’s needs can get heated and emotional, and understandably so. It’s important that we all stay objective and focused on what matters most – solving problems and supporting our children’s success. Starting off on the right foot will ensure you, your child and your teacher all have the best shot at a successful school year.

When Is Clinic Based Treatment Appropriate?

I’ve talked about the difference between school based and clinic based therapies before. While many children qualify for and receive school based therapy, some children benefit from therapy that is beyond the scope of what is provided in the school setting. As a parent, it can be confusing as to whether a child should get school therapy, clinic therapy, or both.

While school therapy is a vital part of a comprehensive program for supporting participation in the academic setting, school based therapy does not (and should not) address all the needs for every child. The addition of speech, occupational, and physical therapy into a child’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) is dependent on whether there is a specific need related to impairments that are impacting the child’s ability to participate and benefit from the educational setting.

 

These services will be provided within the context of school and from a practice model using an educational frame of reference.  Clinic based services are appropriate when the child’s needs go beyond the limits of school performance and impact the child’s participation in home and community settings.

Parents pursue clinic based services for a variety of reasons:

  • The child’s developmental issues impact all aspects of life, beyond school participation
  • The child has specific medical concerns that benefit from a medical frame of reference
  • The parent notices the child is struggling at school but is not eligible for school related services
  • The child is attending a private school and does not access public school services for therapies
  • The child is homeschooled and parent doesn’t want to involve the public school system
  • The child is under the age of 5, not enrolled in kindergarten, and/or not eligible for an early childhood program through the public school system
  • The parent is seeking help with family based issues such as family routines, expectations, or relationships
  • The child is successful at school but struggling with participation at home or in the community
  • The parent is seeking a second opinion for collaboration or advocacy within the school setting
  • The child would benefit from specific groups or task-focused activities outside of the school setting

Clinic based therapists are able to address the whole child within the context of family, home, and community without the limitations of law imposed on school based therapists. While a clinic evaluation can be helpful in advocating for school related services, clinic therapists cannot make recommendations specific to a school setting without being actively involved in that setting (ie: observations in the classroom, participation in planning meetings).

Nevertheless, clinic based services can provide insight to a child’s needs through a different lens, providing assistance to all those who are invested a child’s success. If you’d like to learn more about the services STEPS can offer in our clinic-based environment, get it touch today.

Avoid the Struggles and Navigate Homework Successfully

Getting back into the school routine means back into the routine of getting homework done. For some of us, it means back into struggles, fights, and meltdowns.

Here are some ways to help reduce the stress and make getting homework done more successfully.

  1. Make it part of a routine. If you don’t already have an after school and school night routine, now is the time to put one in place. All of us benefit from structure to our lives and kids do especially well when they know exactly what to expect. Some of our kids not only benefit from but really NEED that routine to function well. When you create your routine, keep these points in mind:
    • Be realistic with your expectations
    • Fit your own needs (and those of the whole family) into the routine
    • Involve your child in planning the routine when appropriate
    • Build in breaks for your child
    • Use visuals to support the routine (visual timers and/or picture schedules, written checklists)
  2. Think outside the box. Homework doesn’t have to be done at the dining room table. Consider your child’s needs and preferences to choose a place or a variety of places to do homework. Offer a variety of seating options (chair, couch, floor, beanbag chair, swing, or ball-chair) that meet your child’s needs.
    • Even better, put some play in the homework routine! Practice math facts while jumping on the trampoline, run an obstacle course writing spelling words at different stops, or do a treasure hunt to find definitions for vocabulary practice.
  3. Focus on what your child really needs to learn. If your child is struggling with task focus, make sure that you are accommodating and teaching how to extend focus. If you are trying to build independence and self-direction in learning, use checklists for your child to refer to. If your child is easily frustrated with mistakes, take the time to teach resilience and persistence. Sometimes completing the homework isn’t as important as the skills gained from the effort of trying.

If your child balks at doing homework and you find yourself engaged in power struggles most evenings, ask yourself “What does my child need to succeed?” Providing your child with the right support makes all the difference.

What’s more, understanding your child’s needs and responding in kind will help you structure homework so it is the “just right challenge” that motivates your child while challenging just enough to be successful without the frustration.

Strategies to Help Calm an Anxious Child

Helping Anxious Kids

According to the Child Mind Institute, anxiety is the most common emotional problem in children. It can manifest as common fears of the dark, separation issues, problems with social interaction, or persistent worries that interrupt daily activities and sleep.

While some anxious kids are cautious and shy, others have tantrums and emotional meltdowns. Some children withdraw while others develop elaborate rituals to help them feel in control of the world of around them. Anxiety can be an underlying factor in symptoms of sensory processing disorder, with children developing anxiety related to aversive sensory experiences.

Conversely, anxiety can trigger increased symptoms of sensory processing issues, such as intense sensitivity to tactile or auditory input in the presence of anxiety related to school attendance, test taking, social activities or other stressors. Understanding that anxiety may be influencing a child’s behavior is the first step toward finding resolution for a challenging behavior.

Addressing anxiety is often the key to helping children feel secure and confident so they can successfully navigate participation in everyday activities. At STEPS for Kids we recognize how even a little anxiety can have a big impact. Providing the right support and a caring environment can make all the difference in reducing a child’s anxiety.

Quick Strategies to Help Calm an Anxious Child

There are many ways to help a child relax when feeling nervous. Here are some of our favorites that we recommend to parents.

  • Redirect with cognitive tasks or humor: Ask the child to perform a cognitive task like naming animals, doing simple math, or telling jokes
  • Redirect with a task: ask the child for help with a simple chore or activity, involve them in physical activity like jogging in place or doing an obstacle course
  • Breath Activities: Belly breathing with cues like “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” or Breathe a Star by breathing in then out as you follow the outline of a star with your finger for five full breaths
  • Provide hugs, comfort, and a calming space depending on the child’s individual preference
  • Offer empathy by recognizing the feelings and expressing understanding without judging or criticizing the child’s emotional state

Reduce Anxiety and Avoid the Meltdown

Our goal is always to help children learn the skills they need to reduce anxiety through improved task performance, increased self-awareness, and independence in self-advocacy. We help parents to understand their child’s perspective and to practice empathy for their child’s experiences and needs. By focusing on skills, we recognize that all children are capable of new learning that reduces or eliminate meltdowns.

Teaching proactively is more effective than punishments for “bad behavior” that many parents use in an attempt to manage meltdowns. Keep in mind that children in the midst of a meltdown at the peak of the anxiety curve – no learning occurs due to the intensity of the emotional experience. Teaching when the child is calm is the most effective way to influence behaviors.

To learn more about anxiety in children and for more ideas for calming, read this post or contact us today for more information.

 

Anxious Kids

Helping your Child with Anxiety

Does your child get worked up easily? Does she stay awake worrying about things that may or may not happen? Does he stress over everyday interactions? It can be difficult to see your child struggle in this way, but there are a wealth of resources available to help you help them cope.

Here are a few of my favorite blogs, articles and references with great ideas and tools for helping your child through their most anxious moments:

I love the website gozen.com for a great introduction to anxiety in children, and I always recommend it in my course. It’s a great resource for parents and professionals, an entire program to help with anxiety and OCD in kids. Here is a great post GoZen shared on Huffington Post.

I really like this page at Coping Skills for Kids. There are so many good ideas for calming strategies!

This site at The Chaos and the Clutter is very helpful – an anti-anxiety kit for kids, and they even explain how bet to use it.

Click on “Youth” at this site from AnxietyBC for pages created just for your kids; I encourage you to review their pages directly with your child, too.

If you’re looking for a more in-depth understanding of the anxiety your child is feeling, this article from Parents is very informative.

If you’re concerned about your child’s anxiety, hopefully these resources will give you a few ideas and tools to begin to help them. For more custom input, get in touch with STEPS for Kids today.

Help Your Child Enjoy Outdoor Play

We recently posted about how great playing outside is for your child’s development. Ideally, kids would be outside playing for three hours every day! But that can be a difficult task, especially if your child had sensory processing issues or other needs.

For some children the wind is too much to bear, or the sunlight is too bright. For some, the noise is too loud to enjoy the outdoors. Others struggle with knowing how to play, or lack social skills for positive group play.

To help these children benefit from outdoor play, try these strategies that address the various ways kids struggle:

  • Have your child wear a hat with a brim or sunglasses
  • Use noise cancelling headphones; wear earmuffs or a headband over the ears
  • Let your child choose the clothing for outdoors, including long sleeves or a jacket even when it’s warm outside. Better to be comfy and happy than fashionable!
  • Make outdoor play a part of your child’s daily routine. Prepare your child with social stories or books that talk about what to expect when outdoors.
  • Make a plan for what you will do together outdoors. Have your child help choose outdoor activities for the day.
  • Start slow, and build time gradually. It doesn’t have to be three hours all at once. Allow the time to add up over the course of the day. Even 10 minutes at a time is better than no time at all!
  • Model outdoor play by playing with your child and facilitating social interactions with other children.
  • Be available to support as needed based on your child’s skill level, while stepping back to provide your child space for practicing skills on their own.
  • Make outdoor time a time to build relationships. Have a picnic, read a book, explore your neighborhood, meet new friends. Enjoy each other as well as the outdoors!

There’s so much fun to be had outside! With a little extra attention, you and your child can create enjoyable outdoor play experiences that both support their development and make great good-weather memories.

Want to be sure your child has the skills and support they need to enjoy summer? Contact STEPS today for an evaluation, or consider joining our Social Skills Groups.

Kids benefit from 3 hours of outdoor play

Summer is here! Kids need to play hard to develop skills and grow strong physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now is the perfect time to take the play outdoors, where kids can get the movement, sensory experiences, and social interactions to support development in a positive and healthy way.

Angela Hanscom, occupational therapist and founder of TimberNook Camps, suggests that all children should be playing outside for 3 hours a day. Ms. Hanscom recently authored the book Balanced adn Barefoot, spelling out exactly how and why development benefits from this time.

She recommends that this time to play be unrestricted, with limited parental involvement (depending on the child’s age and abilities). Benefits of outdoor play include physical strengthening, motor coordination and balance, problem solving, creativity, self-regulation and emotional expression, and social interaction.

I’ve compiled some of Ms. Hanscom’s tips for how to work this outside time into your child’s day.

  • Identify the fears or concerns that cause us to limit a child’s outdoor time. Confront those fears by teaching the child the skills needed, such as how to watch for traffic, or providing tools such as walkie-talkies for communication.
  • Consider hosting other children for a half or full day, instead of just an hour or two. Children need time to develop friendships and explore play schemes!
  • Provide children with “loose parts” for play outside. Things like kitchenware, buckets, trays, boxes, or other “junkyard finds” that can be used, explored, and repurposed in play.
  • Allow for age appropriate risk taking in play, which facilitates increased self-awareness, body awareness, problem solving, and creativity in children. A scraped knee isn’t a bad thing!
  • Encourage outdoor play from a very young age. Babies and toddlers need sensory experiences like sitting on the grass, hearing a variety of sounds, and responding to visual input.
    • By the age of 8 or 9, typical children are ready to be off on their own in the neighborhood. Decrease supervision as children gain skills to foster independence and confidence.

Want to know more, or curious where your child should be in outdoor play development? Contact STEPS today for an evaluation or conversation, and consider joining our Social Skills Groups.

You can read Angela Hanscom’s book Balanced and Barefoot, too. Learn more here.

School Or Clinic Therapy: What’s the Difference?

Many children with special needs qualify for therapy services in the school. Parents sometimes think that these services are enough to meet their child’s needs and do not pursue options for clinic based therapies which might greatly enhance their children’s development. Some children are struggling at home but don’t qualify for therapy services in the school. Parents may assume that their child wouldn’t benefit from therapy in a clinic setting or don’t know that this option is available. It’s important to know the difference between therapy services provided in different settings.

School Based Therapy:

  • Is provided as a related service to support the child’s participation in and ability to benefit from educational programs.
  • Is required by law to be a part of the child’s Individualized Education Plan (IEP) when deemed appropriate by the educational team.
  • Is limited to the needs identified by the educational team and only addresses needs that impact educational performance or participation.
  • Is not provided if the child is not demonstrating a need in the school setting that requires specific therapy interventions.
  • Is subject to the limitations of service identified by the IEP and requires a team meeting to make changes, such as increasing therapy time.
  • Only occurs during school hours; often limited by school calendar and staff shortages.

Clinic Based Therapy:

  • Can be provided for any child who has demonstrated need for therapy support services.
  • Is provided in the clinic with options for home and community based services
  • Addresses the needs of the child in the context of the family, identifying strengths and supporting access to community resources.
  • Is usually covered under medical insurance plans or can be paid for privately without limitations placed by insurance providers.
  • Can be scheduled with frequency and duration most appropriate for the child’s needs with flexibility for modifying the plan as needed.
  • Clinic therapists collaborate with the schools when child is receiving both types of services, thus enhancing treatment outcomes in all settings.

Whether a child is currently receiving school based therapies or has been found not eligible for services in the school setting, clinic based therapy may be a good choice for supporting development.  If you have questions about the difference between therapy services please contact our office for more information or to discuss your child’s therapy needs.